My grandpa is my mom’s father. He lives with us. Grandpa came from China in 1989. He had been to school to learn English as a Second Language until age eighty. Guess what? He repeated Level One Adult ESL for four years in a row, and never made it to Level Two! Even so, now at age eighty-six, he is still learning English on his own with an English – Chinese dictionary.

How much English has he learned? No one knows, because Grandpa has a very bad hearing, we cannot tell whether his misunderstanding is due to his poor hearing or his Level One ESL English. To make this matter worse, my Chinese is not perfect, and my eight-year-old younger sister Robin speaks her Level One Chinese, often mixed with English.

Grandpa is very patient and good-natured. He never gets upset with us, and is always there for us with his love. Even though he may not understand what we say most of the time, he always sits with us and listens to our conversations attentively. When we laugh, Grandpa is laughing with us. When we finish, Grandpa is still laughing.

Grandpa always provides us with his protection and comfort. We turn to Grandpa for everything. Our communication or miscommunication due to language barrier often produces homemade comedy. Once I made Robin really mad. She went to Grandpa to tell on me with her mixed Chinese and English. Grandpa was trying to understand what my sister’s whining was about. Grandpa dried her tears lovingly and comforted her with gentle words. When Robin insisted that I should be punished and wanted to know what Grandpa’s verdict was, Grandpa seemed to understand what she had been saying all in a sudden, “Oh, Barbie!”

When we have happy news, we share it with Grandpa first. One day my sister came back with good marks on her test. She tried to tell my Grandpa how well she did. Grandpa did not understand. Instead of saying ‘Pardon me, I did not understand’, Grandpa just answered, “Oh, Barbie, Barbie”. My sister tried to explain again, and this time, Grandpa said, “Drink some water.”

It has become my grandpa’s specialty: whenever you say something to him, if he cannot understand, he starts to reply with random things, which makes a serious matter merely a joke. For example, once we had some serious matters. My parents were very depressed, and the whole family got into a serious discussion. Grandpa just stood there laughing happily and talking about what he would go shopping for the next day. It made my mom want to cry, and made us laugh. Finally we felt that no problem was serious enough to affect our family’s happiness and well-being. That goes with Grandpa’s attitude too. In Grandpa’s opinion, nothing is a big deal in life, and being happy is all that matters.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Grandpa is not always joking around. He can also be really serious, concerned or upset. The things Grandpa cares about most are learning and education.

Mom told me that Grandpa was an artist by profession, but being born into a poor family he could not finish primary school. However, education had always been his priority in life. When Mom was a baby, Grandpa used to hold her in his arms and rock her to sleep. He told her repeatedly that she would go to university when she grew up. But none of them knew what a university was. Grandpa just knew that only special scholars were selected to attend the highest learning institutions, and being one of them was a great honor for the family. He encouraged and motivated Mom all the time. As a very young child, the only valid motivation Mom could understand from Grandpa’s talk was: “Students in universities are state treasures. Even their washrooms are indoors with a burning stove.” Wow! Back forty years ago in China, public washrooms were on the streets. They were very cold in winter. It was a dream for a little girl to go to a washroom without a frozen bum. That really set a life goal for Mom. She had decided to go to university because there was a heated washroom. Later, Mom realized her childhood dream. Guess what? The washroom in her university was in door and it was heated, not by a burning stove, better still, by hot-water heaters. See? It pays to listen to Grandpa.

Grandpa cares about my education just the same. When I am good in school, Grandpa makes me yummy food, like Chinese dumplings and noodles. If I am not doing well in school, Grandpa gets really upset, and tries to help me get better in his gentle and loving way. My grandpa is very supportive. He supports me with his understanding, forgiveness and love. Unlike my parents who may get upset with me, Grandpa talks to me, explains things to me, and encourages me. He talks to me about my school, my teachers and classmates, my projects and many other things until he thinks he has helped me understand what I need to do to get better. Since Grandpa and I share a bedroom, sometimes Grandpa gets very excited, and stays up late well pass midnight with our heart-to-heart talks. Since ‘washroom with a burning stove’ is out of date now, and we are living in Canada, an advanced country, Grandpa has to have other motivations for me. What motivates me? Video games, of course, to my parents’ dismay. I love playing video games. Even if I were ‘wasting my time’ playing video games, Grandpa would still support me. Grandpa is my true friend. Therefore, I want to study hard to respond to his kindness and love. That is what I can do to thank Grandpa in return and to make him happy.

My grandpa is fun and cool. He teaches us how to sew, knit, and embroider. He also shows us how to paint and sculpture. He even acts and entertains us like a kid and makes us laugh. Moreover, whether I am sad, mad, or happy, Grandpa always cooks me good food. You may wonder why my grandpa cooks, not my mom. Grandpa does not believe that cooking and housekeeping is a woman’s job. He thinks that women have been doing it for several thousand years, and it is time to change. He let his son do all the housework, but never his daughter. When Grandpa’s caring neighbours in China warned him, “You’d better prepare your daughter with a housewife’s skills or she cannot find a husband in the future. No one wants a wife who cannot cook,” Grandpa’s reply was, “Why? When she finishes university, she can always marry a cook.” Isn’t Grandpa cool? If that is not cool enough for you, what about this: Once I was jumping on my bed, and accidentally broke it. Grandpa sneaked out and bought some nails and wood boards. Quietly, he fixed my bed without my parents finding it out. To me, that was very cool. But I promised myself that I would never break another bed again.

Grandpa is the kindest person in the world. He is my best friend and our family treasure. 

                                           

                             
Love has pain,
Love has hope.
It gives you lumps
in your throat.

You may stay together
or depart from each other,
Love makes you heartbroken.
Love feels bad,
it makes you sad,
it feels like a pinch on the back.

Love makes you sick,
it feels like a prick.
Love can be good,
love can be bad,
I hope this poem
does not make you sad.